Dena Taylor’s Musings

Tamoxifeng shui – The pleasing arrangement of an industrial sized fan and block of ice next to one’s bed

Tamoxifender bender – What happens when my sweaty hands slip off the steering wheel

Tamoxifeind – The dominant mental state of a hot flasher wearing a wool sweater, wool pants, wool socks and fleece-lined boots

Tamoxiferno – My hot flashing ass

Tamoxifence – The dubious moment before a hot flasher screams or cries

Tamoxifanity - Various expletives used in describing a hot flash, e.g. It’s so fucking hot; Shit it’s hot; It’s too damn hot

Tamoxifetish – An unnatural desire to press a bag of frozen vegetable medley on one’s bare flesh

Tamoxifeud – The result of anyone standing in the way of me and my freezer

Tamoxifree – How Stella gets her temperature back

Tamoxifun – This word not found

MOM: I’m going to try this new recipe but it requires some fancy lemon flavored olive oil and I don’t know where on Earth I’m going to find that because we don’t have a Ben & Jerry’s around here.

ME: Ben & Jerry’s sell olive oil?

MOM: Ben & Jerry’s. Pete & Larry’s. You know that store.

ME: Ben & Jerry’s sells ice cream and while Pete & Larry might sell olive oil, I have a feeling it’s not for cooking. Do you mean Harry & David?

MOM: No! Geez. But it’s a man’s name…um…Vuh, vuh, vuh…VIC!

ME: Like in the cough drop?

MOM: No. It’s Vic. TRADER VIC’S!

ME: Mom. Trader Vic’s is a Polynesian steakhouse. I think you must mean Trader Joe’s.

MOM: Like I said. We don’t have that here.

Meat Water (teriyaki chicken or fajita beef)

Tuna Water (bone and skin free)

Broccoli Water (with or without stalks)

Egg Water (brown, Grade AA)

Bagel Water (with cream cheese curds)

Cheese Water (with hormone-free, reduced fat cheddar)

Lipid Oil Water (duck, coconut or canola)

Two girls. One stall.

GIRL 1: Are you really going to take a dump?

GIRL 2: Yeah. I haven’t had one all day!

GIRL 1: Really? I’ve had two.

Save for uncontrollable urges, who poos in front of their friend during a concert? Moreover, what does Girl 1 eat that she has two poos in one day? Fascinating.

A little grassroots shout out. If you live in Austin or surroundings, appreciate history and/or feel that some things are better off not bull dozed over, sign the petition at www.savemuny.com.

Thank you!