Unfortunate FaceBook Wall Exchange
Saturday, January 17th, 2009Hey Crystal! It’s been years! Heard you got rid of that crack-head loser husband of yours. Congratulations! Goodbye dead weight, hello cougar trail!
Oh hi. Skip. Actually my “crack-head” husband has been clean for months and we’re buying a new house. But thanks for your note. I think.
Really? That’s so weird because Patty–remember Patty from dance team?—she said she tipped back a few cold ones with him, like, two weeks ago at the club she works at. Didn’t sound AT ALL like he was married, if you know what I mean (wink-ha!). But you know—they didn’t call her Pants-Down-Patty for nuthin’. But hey—glad things are good!
Skip. You are the same moron dodo brained goon you always were. I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from writing on my wall. Jerk.
Uh, Patty here. Just when I thought we made it past junior high, you two have to bring up the whole “Pants-Down-Patty” thing. I’ve spent years trying to put that behind me. Hope you’re proud of yourselves. Fuckers.
Patty—first of all, Skip brought that up NOT me. Secondly, maybe you should pull your skirt down and lift your head up from the bar once in awhile and stop perpetuating rumors about other people’s husbands.
Whoa, sorry Patters. Didn’t mean to make ya feel bad. I’ll make it up to you this weekend. I’m tuckin’ two five spots in your string instead of one, girl! Just you wait. –Skip
You know what, Crystal? You’re the same snooty beeatch you always were. BTW—your husband might be off drugs but he had a hell of a time on me. –Patty
Crystal is no longer friends with Skip and Patty.
Crystal has changed her relationship status to Single.